Wednesday, June 27, 2012

maybe later

Since the last post I did back at the end of February I have not picked up a book.  Strange, right?  In the beginning of March a switch was somehow switched in me.  I didn't feel like blogging or reading or taking creative-ish pictures.  After a few weeks and then a month I greatly thinned out the number of blogs I read.  I went from reading somewhere around 60 blogs daily to now checking out 2.

Some might guess depression and I would tend to agree except that I've been down that road before and I know what it feels like.  And it's not like I'm too busy, I do have time to play silly games on my iPad or read news and watch Investigation Discovery.

What it really was is that I just didn't feel like writing anymore.  I felt like I had nothing that I wanted to share with everyone.  Things were perfect and I didn't want to spoil it by acknowledging it. 

Emma thrived in school.  She loves her friends, makes them easily and just soaks up all the new knowledge she is gaining.  Her progress is measured in leaps and bounds and now I am just amazed at this little wonder that isn't a baby anymore.  She is so aware of the world around her now and maybe a little too grown up, but she's also still my snuggly baby that wouldn't say no to some cuddle time.  She dances around the house and draws the most impressive pictures of anything that comes to mind.  She's six now and she's sewing her own quilt.  My mom has helped her a bit, but she's actually sewing it by herself.  She lucked out in the creative department.  And so did we.

And the baby is perfect.  She's a happy, two-teeth, not-so-little, rolling ball of joy.  Little O's not crawling (though she's thinking about it) but she gets to where she wants to go quick speedily by rolling around everywhere.  We've taken to using her car seat, baskets of toys and other household items to block the nooks and crannies she sometimes would get stuck in.  She is (at this point) scarily easy going.  She can go a whole day without naps and not completely fall apart.  She's quick to smile at the people she knows and thinks her big sister is the most amazing person in the whole wide world.  She gives me kisses and hugs and has a big smile for Daddy the moment she sees his face.

My kids are truly a blessing.

And I've immersed myself in it for the most part.  The last half of the school year was filled with fun things and it just seemed to go by so fast.  Now summer vacation is here and I've quickly come to realize that 24 straight hours 7 days a week with my eldest munchkin could possibly drive me insane.  She is a constant stream of noise.  She talks continuously for about 13 hours a day.  Continuously.  I know that it's just payback.  I'm pretty chatty, but dang people.

Today I picked up my first ever rented lens from Borrow Lenses.  It's a 50mm f/1.8 Nikon and I've taken about 10 pictures with it so far and I'm already in love.  It's amazing how different lenses change your whole outlook on something.  I've got this bad boy for a week and two days and I can't wait to really experiment with it.

I don't know why I chose today to start writing again.  I watched an episode of One the Case with Paula Zahn.  It's probably close to the 50th episode I've watched and for the first time I was riveted.  I was torn apart inside by these people and the loved ones they left behind.  It got me thinking and then it got my typing.

There's more, there's so much more it seems, but I don't want to write about that now.

Maybe later.

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