two years and counting

Two years ago today she was barely bigger than a package of baby wipes!

Lucky to have the best big sister in the whole world!

She liked being snuggled up in blankets.

And for some reason she loved having a bucket on her head!

When she was littler she wasn't so picky about her food.  Today all she wants is 'fre-fries'.

She loves to smile just a little bit more than she likes to make frown-ie faces.

She still has a little bit of chubbies on her cheeks.

We tried bangs, but somehow hair still ended up in her face.

She tolerates Batman.  Maybe she'll be my geek girl.

She can be pretty lazy.

She still loves owls.

She throws around lots of attitude already.

And today she turned 2 years old.

Every day she makes me laugh and makes me smile.  She runs to me and gives me hugs and kisses.  She is the best little big addition to our family.  I'm so incredibly lucky for you baby girl.

september photo challenge

I'm still taking pictures!!  Here's my next five days:

September 6 - Getting Ready

Emma's getting ready to make gyoza for the first time.

September 7 - White

Dim Sum for my Auntie's birthday

September 8 - I Made This

We went Girl Scout camping this summer and when I was a GS we always had 'sit-upons' for keeping out butts (somewhat) warm & dry.  Emma and I made some for us before we took off with some duct tape and newspaper.  I was pretty proud of how they turned out, especially since I am not crafty!

September 9 - On The Wall

Artwork by Emma (the penguin was when she was about 4) and a super cool comic book (Batman, of course) purse that my super crafty friend made for me.  These hang out by my desk.

September 10 - Sweet

I help out in Emma's class and when I was done stuffing homework folders Emma's class was out at computer lab.  So before I left I put a sticky note on her desk that said 'Have a good day!  I love you!  xoxo'.  When I asked her after school if she got my note and she said 'Yes, it was so embarrassing!  Everyone was laughing at me because of the xo's!'  So I told her I wouldn't do that anymore and sighed a big sigh.  The following Monday I went in to do homework folders again and when I put everything away I saw that she left me a note on her desk.  It said 'I love you Mommy!  You can do these notes again xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox'  She's such a sweet girl!

I didn't do much editing or try for some ambitious photos this set.  Most of the pictures I just edited the exposure some if they needed it, but that's about it.  For the 'Getting Ready' picture I did use a filter - Orton I think...

let's try this again

Back in July I thought I would do Fat Mum Slim's Photo a Day Challenge.  I got about halfway through and then I just completely forgot about it.  *sigh*  This time, I've added reminders on my calendar with the day's prompt to help me remember so we'll see how that works out.  Though I am feeling this more this month.  I'm getting back into using my camera and also seeing what I can do with my phone.  I also found another free editing site that's really similar to picnik for people like me who are too lazy to learn Photoshop right now.  If you're like me, check out PicMonkey.

So here's this month's prompts:

For some reason the pic I'm getting for that is coming out all crappy, but it's the best I can do!

I'm going to try to do this in fives so I've got an even number for each post.  See how I start out so organized and eager??

September 1 - Together

Got the cousins to take a picture together on Labor Day.  I think I snapped about 30 pictures and this was the only one where they were all pretty much smiling and Olivia wasn't trying to run away.  Didn't do any editing here though it could probably use some.

September 2 - My Name Begins With

'K' is for Kari & 'K' is for Kindle.  This one was edited in Instagram.  Kelvin filter with the focal shift dot on 'kindle'.

September 3 - Lines

I edited the heck out of this one.  Using PicMonkey I applied some kind of filter I can't remember and did an overlay of light lines.  It did take awhile to take the actual picture.  I set up the tripod and played around with the vertical blinds in the kitchen.  Turned off all the lights inside so it was just lit from the outside bright ass streetlight.

September 4 - Alone

Olivia waiting for Emma to get home from school.  All alone with her cute little toes!  Changed to black and white in PicMonkey.

September 5 - Forever

I took this one with Instagram and used the Brannan filter.

 Five days down, twenty-five to go!

photo a day: july 7th-14th

July 7th

Where You Are.....

At the NKOTB concert with my sister!

July 8th

Path....

To a giant mess.

July 9th

3 Things....

 

3 random t-shirts from Tee Turtle!!

July 10th

Smooth....

 My clean kitchen table!

July 11th

I Wore This!

My favorite t-shirt.  It's comfy & I love the design.

July 12th

A Bad Habit....

I stopped smoking years ago, quit biting my nails a month ago so I guess it would be sweets, but at least these are organic, all natural & GMO free!  I couldn't very well take a picture of 'being a bitch', could I?

July 13th 

4 o'clock

 

Sleeping baby at the mall.  Riding around in a stroller is tough work, people!

 

July 14th

Edible....

Spicy sauce from our favorite ramen place, Kahoo's.

And now I'm all caught up with my posting!

photo a day: july

July 4th

  Red, white & blue.....

Olivia has decided that my rubbermaid containers should go in the recycling bin.

July 5th

Love....

My love, my best friend, my favorite person

July 6th

Favorite Smell.....

The heat has done a number on my lavender plant, but it still smells lovely

photo a day: july

 
My friend Kristan posted a picture of the photo challenge that Fat Mum Slim has started for the month of July.  Actually, I think that this photo project has been going on for a lot longer than that, but this post is for the month of July so it's the perfect time to start!  I've tried doing the 365 project, but it started to feel like work and I was running out of inspiration.  These kinds of projects are great for me because there's a focus and sometimes I need that!

I meant to post on the 1st and go from there, but I slacked off for sure!  Here's my pictures for the first three days of July.

Happiness Is....

my babies laying on the couch with me

Shoes....

My favorites, tho they've almost killed me

Cold....

7 Eleven's Coke cans.  Ice turns blue when it's cold enough to drink.

what a beautiful day

.....for Civil rights.....

and Women's rights!!

Yes, it's a beautiful day!

virgin book reader envy

It's been quite some time since I've written a post that wasn't a book review!

I just finished reading three books that I loved (Stolen Prey, Delusion in Death & Mad River), but knew I was going to love and one book that I hated, but thought I would enjoy (I, Michael Bennett).  Even though that's a 75% positive rating I still feel kind of, I don't know...bummed?

John Sandford's two books were so good, especially Stolen Prey, but it's been awhile since I've read something truly astounding.  Something that made me lose my mind, or my heart.  The last one was Luther about three months ago.  That doesn't sound that long ago, but since I read Luther I've read 53 books.  I started going through book recommendations on GoodReads, Shelfari & Amazon and it got me thinking about the books I have loved and how I wish I could erase my memory of them so I could read them again without any expectations.

You know what I'm talking about.  There are those books you read and recommend to friends, half jealous because they get to read them for the first time and all you can do is read them again....and even though I have read some of these multiple times and loved them even the second, third, fourth or even fifth time, I still wish I could get that first time read back.  If I could erase my memory of these books and start again here's my list of books I'd do that for.

It seems weird to expound on how much I loved this book.  It's not a warm and fuzzy feel good kind of story.  Chevy Steven's Still Missing is about a woman who is kidnapped and held captive for more than a year, raped and abused repeatedly.  But it was so damn brilliant.  It kept me on the edge of my seat - literally.  I was heartbroken, elated at times, terrified and blown away.  I wasn't expecting what happened.  At all.  It was nothing short of brilliant.

I read What We Keep by Elizabeth Berg too many years ago to count, but the lyrical prose has stayed with me all these years.  Page 30, concerning dreams of fairies became the bar to which I set stories like these.  I wanted magic where there wasn't necessarily going to be magic.  Berg wove beautiful words into this story that haunted me for over a decade.

In the beginning I got Sarah Addison Allen's book The Girl Who Chased the Moon for free from a Barnes & Noble special.  I had it for months before I finally read it and when I did I immediately went out to search for the rest of Allen's books.  They were all just so beautiful, but TGWCM was an unexpected delight.  Like Still Missing I just didn't know what I was getting into so it made everything all the sweeter.  Full of magic, first love, finding love again, family, friends and mystery.  It had everything and more.

Seriously, did you think I wouldn't include this one??  Now I had avoided the Twilight craze.  In fact, I scoffed at it.  So many nutsos going insane over this vampire book immediately turned me off, but one of those nutsos was my friend and she told me I must read it.  She guaranteed I would love it and if I didn't get the books she was going to drop them off on my doorstep.  So I waited a bit longer until all four books came out and went and got them from the library.  With a doubting heart I started Twilight and at page 98 I had to call my husband so I could tell him 'I LOVE THIS BOOK.' and I became one of those nutsos.  I didn't even care.  There was something about this story that tugged at me.  The writing was soooo not perfect, the plot kind of ludicrous and it was far from having a socially acceptable female 'heroine', but I loved it.  Every bit of it.  Maybe it was the first love aspect, or the setting, or the silly differences Meyer made in her vampires.  Whatever it was I loved it and while I enjoyed all four books (6 if you count Midnight Sun and The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner) the first one was my favorite.  The first meeting, the first kiss, the first time he saves her life - let's face it, we can roar all we want, but sometimes we just want that knight in sparkly armor.

*image found on Favim

This one's rather obvious, although it's not a single book, but an entire series.  Of course, I'm talking about J. K. Rowling's Harry Potter series.  Each and every book I loved.  It doesn't matter how many times I read them, they never get old and I still feel them pull the same emotions out of me as they did the first time.  It's one of the only books I've loved the movies almost as much as I loved the books.  I love the world that Rowling created, the language and the people.  I love that she created a series that you can think about, talk about with others and it never gets old.  There were times when I wanted to throttle Harry, but that was okay because even though the books carried his name there were so many characters that brought the stories together and Harry wouldn't have been Harry had it not been for Hermione, Ron, Snape, Dumbledore, Neville, and so many others.

Now that I've told you the books I wish I could go back and read for the first time, what are yours??  I'm always looking for new books to read!

fear

There is an interesting, yet horrifying phenomenon that occurs that no one tells you about after you've been given a no-more-cancer-bill-of-health.  You think everything afterwards is cancer.

Every pain, every ache, every twinge is cancer.  And even the nothingness, the no symptom days, it's cancer.  Part of you knows that this thinking is crazy and the other part knows that it's not because before you never thought about cancer.  In fact, for me I didn't ever feel the cancer.  It was just there, so why can't it be just there somewhere else?

It's a thought that invades my head at least 165 hours out of the week.

And I think about how my cancer wasn't really cancer.  There was no real feelings of illness, no chemotherapy, no radiation, no drugs of any sort.  I didn't lose weight, lose my hair, lose my strength.  I look at what some friends have or are going through and I feel guilty.  That survivor's sort of guilt.  I can't possibly ever feel sorry for myself or complain about what I went through because it was nothing compared to what I have seen.

So I don't complain.  I don't think back on it because really, in the grand scheme of cancer situations, mine was cake.  But I fear.

I fear that it is something that I have now passed onto my daughters.  Now, when they fill out health history forms they will have to check the box that says there is a history of cancer. 

I fear that it will come back.  In some other form, in some other way, it will come back and I will truly appreciate how easy I had it before.

I fear that because it was in me that maybe it is somewhere in my mom, in my sister, in my aunties.  I fear more that I will lose someone I love than I will lose myself.

Although, what I fear the most is that in losing myself I will lose this precious life with my husband and with my daughters.

But it is what it is.  And for now I'll watch how Emma always makes Olivia laugh giant, belly laughs while she looks at her sister with such love and adoration and be happy.

in the blink of an eye

it goes by just about that fast.

my tiny little baby, born a little too early and just a little bit small.  you're already a year old now.

i just can't believe it.

sometimes you're kind of lazy.

but you're quick to smile.

 

a little messy when you eat.

 

just enough chubbies.

 

a tad of an attitude.

 

the best little sister to the best big sister there is.

you made our little family complete and i'm so happy every day that i get to wake up and dance around with you.  but don't grow up too fast...