two years and counting

Two years ago today she was barely bigger than a package of baby wipes!

Lucky to have the best big sister in the whole world!

She liked being snuggled up in blankets.

And for some reason she loved having a bucket on her head!

When she was littler she wasn't so picky about her food.  Today all she wants is 'fre-fries'.

She loves to smile just a little bit more than she likes to make frown-ie faces.

She still has a little bit of chubbies on her cheeks.

We tried bangs, but somehow hair still ended up in her face.

She tolerates Batman.  Maybe she'll be my geek girl.

She can be pretty lazy.

She still loves owls.

She throws around lots of attitude already.

And today she turned 2 years old.

Every day she makes me laugh and makes me smile.  She runs to me and gives me hugs and kisses.  She is the best little big addition to our family.  I'm so incredibly lucky for you baby girl.

september photo challenge

I'm still taking pictures!!  Here's my next five days:

September 6 - Getting Ready

Emma's getting ready to make gyoza for the first time.

September 7 - White

Dim Sum for my Auntie's birthday

September 8 - I Made This

We went Girl Scout camping this summer and when I was a GS we always had 'sit-upons' for keeping out butts (somewhat) warm & dry.  Emma and I made some for us before we took off with some duct tape and newspaper.  I was pretty proud of how they turned out, especially since I am not crafty!

September 9 - On The Wall

Artwork by Emma (the penguin was when she was about 4) and a super cool comic book (Batman, of course) purse that my super crafty friend made for me.  These hang out by my desk.

September 10 - Sweet

I help out in Emma's class and when I was done stuffing homework folders Emma's class was out at computer lab.  So before I left I put a sticky note on her desk that said 'Have a good day!  I love you!  xoxo'.  When I asked her after school if she got my note and she said 'Yes, it was so embarrassing!  Everyone was laughing at me because of the xo's!'  So I told her I wouldn't do that anymore and sighed a big sigh.  The following Monday I went in to do homework folders again and when I put everything away I saw that she left me a note on her desk.  It said 'I love you Mommy!  You can do these notes again xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox'  She's such a sweet girl!

I didn't do much editing or try for some ambitious photos this set.  Most of the pictures I just edited the exposure some if they needed it, but that's about it.  For the 'Getting Ready' picture I did use a filter - Orton I think...

let's try this again

Back in July I thought I would do Fat Mum Slim's Photo a Day Challenge.  I got about halfway through and then I just completely forgot about it.  *sigh*  This time, I've added reminders on my calendar with the day's prompt to help me remember so we'll see how that works out.  Though I am feeling this more this month.  I'm getting back into using my camera and also seeing what I can do with my phone.  I also found another free editing site that's really similar to picnik for people like me who are too lazy to learn Photoshop right now.  If you're like me, check out PicMonkey.

So here's this month's prompts:

For some reason the pic I'm getting for that is coming out all crappy, but it's the best I can do!

I'm going to try to do this in fives so I've got an even number for each post.  See how I start out so organized and eager??

September 1 - Together

Got the cousins to take a picture together on Labor Day.  I think I snapped about 30 pictures and this was the only one where they were all pretty much smiling and Olivia wasn't trying to run away.  Didn't do any editing here though it could probably use some.

September 2 - My Name Begins With

'K' is for Kari & 'K' is for Kindle.  This one was edited in Instagram.  Kelvin filter with the focal shift dot on 'kindle'.

September 3 - Lines

I edited the heck out of this one.  Using PicMonkey I applied some kind of filter I can't remember and did an overlay of light lines.  It did take awhile to take the actual picture.  I set up the tripod and played around with the vertical blinds in the kitchen.  Turned off all the lights inside so it was just lit from the outside bright ass streetlight.

September 4 - Alone

Olivia waiting for Emma to get home from school.  All alone with her cute little toes!  Changed to black and white in PicMonkey.

September 5 - Forever

I took this one with Instagram and used the Brannan filter.

 Five days down, twenty-five to go!

photo a day: july

 
My friend Kristan posted a picture of the photo challenge that Fat Mum Slim has started for the month of July.  Actually, I think that this photo project has been going on for a lot longer than that, but this post is for the month of July so it's the perfect time to start!  I've tried doing the 365 project, but it started to feel like work and I was running out of inspiration.  These kinds of projects are great for me because there's a focus and sometimes I need that!

I meant to post on the 1st and go from there, but I slacked off for sure!  Here's my pictures for the first three days of July.

Happiness Is....

my babies laying on the couch with me

Shoes....

My favorites, tho they've almost killed me

Cold....

7 Eleven's Coke cans.  Ice turns blue when it's cold enough to drink.

mistresses of the spaghetti mess

Spaghetti for dinner tonight and it would seem that we just don't have enough napkins!

I got a new phone yesterday.  Went from my iPhone to the Samsung Galaxy S3. Guess what that means? Blogger app!! Now I can post from my phone without having to use that horrid phone workaround! I don't know how pretty this is going to look, but maybe this will get me to post more often.

fear

There is an interesting, yet horrifying phenomenon that occurs that no one tells you about after you've been given a no-more-cancer-bill-of-health.  You think everything afterwards is cancer.

Every pain, every ache, every twinge is cancer.  And even the nothingness, the no symptom days, it's cancer.  Part of you knows that this thinking is crazy and the other part knows that it's not because before you never thought about cancer.  In fact, for me I didn't ever feel the cancer.  It was just there, so why can't it be just there somewhere else?

It's a thought that invades my head at least 165 hours out of the week.

And I think about how my cancer wasn't really cancer.  There was no real feelings of illness, no chemotherapy, no radiation, no drugs of any sort.  I didn't lose weight, lose my hair, lose my strength.  I look at what some friends have or are going through and I feel guilty.  That survivor's sort of guilt.  I can't possibly ever feel sorry for myself or complain about what I went through because it was nothing compared to what I have seen.

So I don't complain.  I don't think back on it because really, in the grand scheme of cancer situations, mine was cake.  But I fear.

I fear that it is something that I have now passed onto my daughters.  Now, when they fill out health history forms they will have to check the box that says there is a history of cancer. 

I fear that it will come back.  In some other form, in some other way, it will come back and I will truly appreciate how easy I had it before.

I fear that because it was in me that maybe it is somewhere in my mom, in my sister, in my aunties.  I fear more that I will lose someone I love than I will lose myself.

Although, what I fear the most is that in losing myself I will lose this precious life with my husband and with my daughters.

But it is what it is.  And for now I'll watch how Emma always makes Olivia laugh giant, belly laughs while she looks at her sister with such love and adoration and be happy.

maybe later

Since the last post I did back at the end of February I have not picked up a book.  Strange, right?  In the beginning of March a switch was somehow switched in me.  I didn't feel like blogging or reading or taking creative-ish pictures.  After a few weeks and then a month I greatly thinned out the number of blogs I read.  I went from reading somewhere around 60 blogs daily to now checking out 2.

Some might guess depression and I would tend to agree except that I've been down that road before and I know what it feels like.  And it's not like I'm too busy, I do have time to play silly games on my iPad or read news and watch Investigation Discovery.

What it really was is that I just didn't feel like writing anymore.  I felt like I had nothing that I wanted to share with everyone.  Things were perfect and I didn't want to spoil it by acknowledging it. 

Emma thrived in school.  She loves her friends, makes them easily and just soaks up all the new knowledge she is gaining.  Her progress is measured in leaps and bounds and now I am just amazed at this little wonder that isn't a baby anymore.  She is so aware of the world around her now and maybe a little too grown up, but she's also still my snuggly baby that wouldn't say no to some cuddle time.  She dances around the house and draws the most impressive pictures of anything that comes to mind.  She's six now and she's sewing her own quilt.  My mom has helped her a bit, but she's actually sewing it by herself.  She lucked out in the creative department.  And so did we.

And the baby is perfect.  She's a happy, two-teeth, not-so-little, rolling ball of joy.  Little O's not crawling (though she's thinking about it) but she gets to where she wants to go quick speedily by rolling around everywhere.  We've taken to using her car seat, baskets of toys and other household items to block the nooks and crannies she sometimes would get stuck in.  She is (at this point) scarily easy going.  She can go a whole day without naps and not completely fall apart.  She's quick to smile at the people she knows and thinks her big sister is the most amazing person in the whole wide world.  She gives me kisses and hugs and has a big smile for Daddy the moment she sees his face.

My kids are truly a blessing.

And I've immersed myself in it for the most part.  The last half of the school year was filled with fun things and it just seemed to go by so fast.  Now summer vacation is here and I've quickly come to realize that 24 straight hours 7 days a week with my eldest munchkin could possibly drive me insane.  She is a constant stream of noise.  She talks continuously for about 13 hours a day.  Continuously.  I know that it's just payback.  I'm pretty chatty, but dang people.

Today I picked up my first ever rented lens from Borrow Lenses.  It's a 50mm f/1.8 Nikon and I've taken about 10 pictures with it so far and I'm already in love.  It's amazing how different lenses change your whole outlook on something.  I've got this bad boy for a week and two days and I can't wait to really experiment with it.

I don't know why I chose today to start writing again.  I watched an episode of One the Case with Paula Zahn.  It's probably close to the 50th episode I've watched and for the first time I was riveted.  I was torn apart inside by these people and the loved ones they left behind.  It got me thinking and then it got my typing.

There's more, there's so much more it seems, but I don't want to write about that now.

Maybe later.

things can get ... stressful

2021 has been a challenging year so far.  Seven and a half weeks in and Emma's probably been sick for 4 of those weeks.  First it was a cold, then some kind of stomach virus and then a UTI and now that UTI just won't go away.  She's been on antibiotics for 21 days so far with 9 more days to go.

Yay.

This time she took her dose in the morning and about 3 minutes later threw up.  We gave her water and another dose and she promptly threw that up.  After talking to a pediatrician (hers is on vacation) we decided to try an anti-vomiting medicine to try to get her to keep the antibiotic down.  Otherwise she has to go in and get a booster shot of antibiotic.  She had to have this last time she had a UTI a year ago and she STILL talks about it.  Every time we go to the doctor she asks if she's going to get a shot.  I so don't want to have to take her in to get a shot.

As she's throwing up for the third time in 2 hours this morning she was crying to me saying she just didn't want to be sick anymore.  I don't want her to be sick either.

Thankfully, Olivia wasn't cranky today, but she still needs attention and junk and Emma was feeling so awful it was going to be difficult to get her motivated to go to the store to get some Gatorade.  I mentioned that I needed to go out and get some Gatorade and 10 minutes later two friends showed up in my driveway with bottles of Gatorade and PowerAde in various flavors.

My friends are amazing.  Seriously.

happy happy joy joy

The babester is officially four months old today!

At her well baby check up she measured in at 14.5 pounds and 24 inches long.  All I kept thinking about was that woman who gave birth to the 14 pound baby.  She gave birth to my four month old.  Jeez.

All is well and she's healthy and happy.  Well, maybe not happy (all the time).  She can be quite the little grumpster and has nooooo problem telling you she's pissed.  We call it being a monku monku.  But she also is quick to smile when she's happy and has the funniest little laugh.  For the most part she's pretty happy, but recently she's been stuffy off and on and that doesn't make for a happy girl.  She really wants to hold her bottle and it's not always helpful, but she's getting the hang of it.  She tried some rice cereal the other day and decided that just doesn't happy fast enough so for now, she prefers her bottle.

It's funny how different Emma and Olivia are.  But everytime I think that they look so different I see pictures of Emma when she was around Olivia's age and think they don't really look so different.

Olivia definitely has more hair than Emma did at four months!  And more chubs.

However much they do or don't look alike though they sure don't mind hogging our bed.

cutie pies.

the greatest gifts

When I was two and a half years old my parents gave me one of the greatest gifts they could ever give me.  They gave me a sister.

Of course, I don't remember most of our early years together.  My memory's pretty bad.  But I know that I was the luckiest girl in the world because I have my sister.

Then just a few months before I turned seven my baby brother was born.

Through the years we have bickered and bitched, but we've always been there when one of us needed someone.

So it was important to me that Emma have a brother or a sister.  I hope that they will love each other and be there for each other just like my siblings and I.

I think they will.

the tale of the easy bake

Emma has asked for some interesting things from Santa in the past years.  The most memorable was the Clapper.  She was 3 and she saw the infomercial for the Clapper and said she wanted one.  Months later when it was time to make up her wishlist for Christmas she only wanted the Clapper.  We really thought she would forget about it, but anytime anyone asked her what she wanted for Christmas she would tell them she wanted a Clapper.  She hated going to see Santa, but this time she insisted we go so she could ask him for one.  Closer to Christmas we realized we needed to get a Clapper.  Christmas Day she was over the moon.

This year she was all about this metal shopping cart that she saw at a local toy store.  Then my friend Kim went to this big resale event that goes on here and she found one for a third of the price.  She grabbed it for us so we thought we were pretty set.

Then she started with the Easy Bake Oven.

I told her early on that she was too young for one.  'It says 8+ on the box,' I told her.  'But it also says 'easy' on the box, mama!' was her reply. 

This went on for a couple of months and I pretty much had her convinced she wasn't getting an Easy Bake Oven.  Then she told me she was going to ask Santa for one.  By this time I already knew my sister was going to get one for her.  I told her she was going to be Emma's favorite person if she got that for her.  She said 'I've been waiting to get her one of those since she was born.'  I'm pretty sure my daughter was meant to be born to my sister.  They are very much alike.

Anyhoo...skip to Santa's visit.  While in line she told me she was going to ask for the oven again.  I reminded her that Santa wouldn't bring it because she was too young.  She said 'I know mama!  You can sit on Santa's lap and ask for an Easy Bake Oven!  Then when he brings it to you then you can give it to me!'  Uhhhh....seriously kid??  Sneaky!!

She went ahead and asked Santa and of course, the mall Santa did not tell her she was too young for an Easy Bake Oven.  When we were walking away she told me Santa didn't say anything about her being too young.  Christmas comes and she opens her presents and is super happy.  Afterwards, I ask her if she got everything she wanted.  'Yes!' she said, 'oh, except my Easy Bake Oven.  I guess you can't trick Santa.'

*sigh*

lights, lights and more lights

A couple of weeks ago we went to Global Wonderland.  It was held in the parking lot of the local amusement park and it was giant lit lanterns shaped into things like the Taj Mahal, forests, Native American villages, etc.  It was pretty cool.  But cold.  Verrrrry cold.

Waiting for light rail with Ji-Chan.

Everyone made it and now we're on our way.  And I got a picture of my sister smiling!!

Chloe is saying 'cheese' too.

The entrance.  There were a lot of people waiting to buy tickets.  Luckily, we got ours online.

Russian Castle.

This was one of my favorite things.  I was a giant vase made up of beads.

 I got a close up of it here.

The kids posing in front of a lotus flower.

 This was a peacock or phoenix, I'm not sure.

 But it was made out of Chinese soup spoons, tea cups, saucers and plates.  It was so cool!

Emma waited forever at this one because every once in awhile the doors opened and some people marched out and then back in.

Olivia was pretty toasty, unlike the rest of us.

 The Eiffel Tower.

 Emma in front of the giant pink castle.

And a picture of the giant pink castle by itself.

All in all it was pretty cool, but now that we've seen it I'm pretty sure we don't have to go again next year!  The kids had fun because they could run around and see all the lights, but we were super cold and the food was just okay.  Gotta have good food to bring us back again!