going to the movies

IF YOU HAVEN'T READ DIVERGENT AND DON'T WANT TO BE SPOILED DO NOT READ THIS POST.

So here's the thing.  We finally went to see Divergent tonight.  

Divergent is probably one of my top five favorite books.  I loved that book more than Twilight, more than the Hunger Games.  I actually can't think of another book that I loved as much.  I think because Tris is such a strong character.  A likeable character.  She's human, she's flawed.  She wants to fit in, she wants to be loved, to be liked, but she stays as true to herself as she can be.

So seeing the movie should be at the top of my to do list, right?

Well, not so much.

I started to get an inkling when I saw the preview at the Veronica Mars movie.  I started crying.  I had done a pretty good job of not watching any interviews or trailers.  Ever since New Moon when I watched and read every bit of information I could about the movie I felt like I spoiled it for myself so I've been much more careful.

Anyhow, after friends went to see it without me (I begged off, just not feeling well, Ray wasn't home to watch the girls) I figured I would just wait until it came out on video.  Where I could watch it in the comfort (read: privacy) of my own home.  But Ray wanted to go see it too so that's what we did tonight.  And I loved it.  Of course, it wasn't perfect and if I had the choice I probably would have chosen someone else to play Tris, to play Four and I wouldn't have cast three guys who all look incredibly alike to play three different characters (Will, Al & Peter).  But it was good and for the most part stayed true to the book.

My problem is purely grief and this really does just prove what a freaking book nerd I am.

I feel like I'm mourning the losses again.  When Tris takes that zip line ride for the first time after the War Game I could only think about Four taking that same ride at the end of Allegiant and I could barely hold it together.  Even now, thinking about it again I am incredibly sad.  There were moments during the movie where I hoped, maybe it would be different.  Maybe her mother would not die.  Maybe her father would not sacrifice himself.  When I saw Caleb after their mother dies my lip actually curled in disgust.

All because I know.  I know what's going to happen, what will be revealed.  What they have done and how they all end up and I cried and I mourned for those lost when the books finished and I'm doing it all over again.

And I realize as I'm reading this back to myself how ridiculous it all sounds.  It's a book!  It's not real.  The people don't exist, but for a time, in my head while I read they did and that's enough.

take what you can carry

take what you can carry
kevin c. pyle
graphic novel/drama
henry holt & co.
published 2012

His father in government custody, Ken is one of more than 110,000 Japanese Americans forced to move to makeshift relocation camps in the tumultuous months after Pearl Harbor.  As traditional family bonds fray, and sometimes break, he stumbles toward a state of gaman: enduring the seemingly unbearable with patience and dignity.

Nearly four decades later, another boy also begins a new life.  A recent arrival to his rapidly developing suburb, Kyle assumes the role of daredevil and thief, always willing to take a risk too far.  But when his exploits land him in jail, it's clear that risks have consequence and debts must be paid.

It was the title this time and not the cover itself that caught my eye.  Reminiscent of Only What We Could Carry (a book everyone should read) my hand went to pick it up without even really thinking about it.  As I suspected it did deal with the internment of Japanese Americans, but with a bit of a twist.

The book flips back and forth from a 1978 Chicago suburb and 1941-1944 California.  In 1978 we follow Kyle in bright white & blues.  In the 40's Ken is awash in dark browns and silence.  There are never any words relayed in Ken's story so we're left with pictures which is almost more telling than words.

Incredibly powerful, although I'm not sure if I cry for Ken or for my family.  I wonder if I should have tried harder to get my Grandmother & Great-Uncles & Great-Aunts to talk about their time in the camps.  It was something that they obviously never wanted to talk about.  When asked my Ba-chan (grandmother) would always say she was too young to remember.  My Uncles always changed the subject and with time I understood this was something that they didn't want to to remember.

I wonder what happened when they came home.  How they were treated, what happened to all of the belongings left behind and how they rebuilt everything.  I wonder about Great-Grandparents I never knew, how much they must have suffered.  I wonder what it must have felt like to have always felt like part of a country and then all of a sudden being told you were not, to not belong anywhere.

In class I was once told by an entitled rich kid that the Japanese Americans wanted to go to the camps.  That it was like a vacation for them.  That was the first time I realized people were idiots. 

What struck me most about this book was the way Pyle chose to voice the time in the internment camp.  With no voice.  No dialogue spoken.  It felt to me as a nod to the quiet that covers the events even to this day.  It is not spoken of, expect mostly by Sansei who want their parents and grandparents stories to be told, to not be forgotten.  Well worth the read.

why i will avoid the pink

I'm sure you've all read about or at least seen a headline about the Susan G. Komen/Planned Parenthood hoopla.  If you haven't, basically this past week the nation has blown up over the Susan G. Komen's decision to stop funding cancer screening and prevention at Planned Parenthood.  The decision they said was based on a new policy to not give money to groups under investigation.  Currently, a Republican Congressman started an "investigation" into PP allowing SGK to create their new policy and stop funding to PP.

That day the web exploded.  Posts all over Facebook, Twitter & hundreds of blogs turned the web into a movement.  Even 22 Democratic Senators got into the movement, sending a letter asking SGK to reverse it's decision.  In one day Planned Parenthood reported donations of over $400,000 with a promise from New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg of $250,000 more to make up for the $600,000 SGK would not be providing PP.  And donations are still coming in because despite SGK's very public 'apology' and promise to reinstate funds to PP they also went promising to continue grants to PP, just finish out the one they already had going.

I was incensed.  I am a staunch supporter of Planned Parenthood and not just because I am a woman and Pro-Choice.  I support Planned Parenthood because they provide health care for women who could not afford to seek that healthcare elsewhere.  When I was working as a waitress with no health benefits I visited PP on a regular basis.  Got everything I needed from them and they never once made me feel ashamed that I couldn't afford to pay much.  I always tried to pay something, but no where close to what those services would have cost me anywhere else.

And yes, 3% of PP's services are focused on abortion.  3%.  Planned Parenthood provides contraception, STD screening, care & prevention, prenatal care, cancer screening and prevention, primary care, adoption services, pregnancy testing and abortions.  But guess what?  Everything listed there is legal.  It's procedures and services that hundreds of clinics and hospitals perform everyday.

So to deny PP funds that go directly to cancer screening and prevention the Susan G. Komen foundation is denying women health care.  They are going against what they say they are about.

I started reading more about Susan G. Komen and came across this blurb about Behind the Pink Curtain and it was about that time that I decided there were better cancer groups to support.  Planned Parenthood isn't the only group who will soon not get funding from SGK.  The foundation will not support any group that supports or participates in stem cell research.  So they really aren't 'for the cure', are they?

I am not denying that SGK has done great things for cancer research as well as inspiring people worldwide to try to make a difference, but for now I'm supporting Planned Parenthood and the Breast Cancer Research Foundation.  I believe in stem cell research and I believe a woman has a right to take care of her body.  Like Balloon Juice said it is VERY easy to not support SGK.  All we have to do is look out for those pink ribbons.

*click to donate to Planned Parenthood*