god-shaped hole

god-shaped hole
tiffanie debartolo
fiction/romance
sourcebooks landmark
published 2002

Tired of the usual dating politics, Beatrice "Trixie" Jordan follows an impulse and replies to a personal ad: "If your intentions are pure, I'm seeking a friend for the end of the world."  In doing so, she meets Jacob Grace, a charming young writer, a passionate seeker of life.  Despite their jaded views of the world, they fall immediately in love.

Trixie and Jacob begin an emotionally charge and tumultuous affair, one they try desperately to keep sacred.  As they struggle to carve out a future beyond the Los Angeles hills, Trixie and Jacob face family secrets that threaten to keep the two close to home ... or at least apart from one another.

Anything less than mad, passionate, extraordinary love is a waste of your time.  There are too many mediocre things in life to deal with and love shouldn't be one of them.

Over a decade ago a movie changed my life.  It sounds so cliche but it is the truth.  Dream For An Insomniac starring Ione Skye & Jennifer Anniston.  I can close my eyes and watch the movie in my head from beginning to end despite having not watched it in several years.  Ione Skye's Frankie was a romantic who would settle for nothing less than what she deemed to be perfect love and I, well I was stuck in a marriage with a man I didn't even like anymore.  Everything in the movie spoke to me.  I was Frankie.  I was certain I wasn't going to settle for anything less than extraordinary love.

So I booked a flight out of Texas and never went back.

Years later I stumbled upon two books written by Tiffanie DeBartolo who wrote that life-changing movie and finally, I've read one.

Every character came to life for me.  I could feel the desperation at the idea of being stuck in their hell forever.  The helplessness when things began to spiral, the content and giddiness when things were on track....it was all so much life it sparked within the pages.

It's hard to articulate how I feel after reading God-Shaped Hole without spoiling the book for anyone who should want to read it and you should want to read it.  DeBartolo has a way with words.  It made me want to write again, to keep a journal, to write everything down.  To create a story and despite having very little in common with Trixie I related to her in a way that made everything too personal so that when the book was finished I felt broken.

The worst book hangover ever, but truly worth it.