oh the power

The lovely Minute Man’s Wife awarded me with the Overlord Award.  How did she know I was craving so much power??

MMW writes the most amazing blog.  I started reading back in January when I was getting into obsessively reading blogs.  I loved her honestly and her blog design.  Just like books, I judge blogs by their designs.  Things went crazy all of sudden (seemingly) and I couldn’t help but admire her candidness once more and I’ve been addicted ever since!

Basically I get to change three things about whatever I want to, good or bad.  She gave this award to me a week ago and I’ve been mulling it over since then.  Such a big decision!  Here’s my three …

1) Reality shows are banned from TV.  I know, this is going to earn me some enemies.  I’m really not that person who watches PBS alone and rolls my eyes at the drivel that is on TV.  I just can’t stand that this crap gives these awful human beings a platform to earn more exposure.  I read a lot of news and it KILLS me that a breaking story or a major headline will be about some idiot on Jersey Shore driving into a police car or something equally asinine.  I know it’s a guilty pleasure thing, but I also know for a fact that there are real idiots in the world and I sometimes must deal with them in real life.  I don’t want to see them on TV too!  I watch some reality shows, Top Chef, Master Chef, Top Chef Masters & Project Runway, but I would gladly give those up just to not have to see some brainless dolt from Orange County or Jersey Shore on TV.

2) Everyone must take a job in the restaurant industry for a minimum of 1 month.  And not as management, but as a tip earner.  Waiter, host, bartender, cocktailer, busboy, dishwasher or line cook.  I don’t think you can truly appreciate the kind of bullshit these people have to deal with until you’ve walked in their shoes.  I have worked in all those jobs except for a line cook.  The day before Christmas Eve one year found me working at an Italian restaurant with an awesome staff, save for our unhappy manager.  She managed to piss off all of the back of the house guys who decided at 8 p.m. they weren’t going to work as long as she was there.  They left.  It was no fun.  The rest of us servers repressed our feelings of murder towards our manager and picked up the new jobs we had no experience in.  I washed dishes.  It was both fun (because I had this hose sprayer thing that I could aim at someone and literally take them down) and exhausting and dirty.  One of our servers tried his hand at cooking and we told all of our tables that all we had to offer them was pizza.  Our usually self-centered, prima donna hostess stepped up and took orders, bussed tables, ran food, whatever we needed she did it.  It was awesome that everyone (except our manager who retreated to the office to cry and bitch on the phone to our GM) came together and didn’t complain and worked their asses off.  At the end of the night we made a sign that said ‘Will work for kitchen staff’ and took a picture.  I still have that picture.

3) When you’re pregnant your tummy becomes like an electrified fence.  When people rub your tummy they are electrocuted.  Not to death, mind you, just like they’re tased.  You can enter in people who you don’t mind touching your tummy (i.e. your kids, your husband, family members, friends).  It would mostly be a deterrent.  People would know that if they try to invade your personal belly space they will be sorely punished. 

I’m passing this along to people who I would really love to see their response mostly.  They’re blogs that I love and you should love them too!

1. My Notie Natalie at My Blog is Boring.  You all should know about her by now.  I pimp her out all the time.  She’s the bestest.
2. Ixy at Illusion.  How can you not love her??  She’s Canadian!  And a sweetie-peetie.
3. Mollie at OK in UK.  She’s fantabulous and full of awesomeness.
4. Lah at Lazy Girl Reads.  She’s my fellow Gryffindor classmate and she’s a great resource for me when I need a new book to read.
5. Erinn at as it were or even if it weren’t.  She’s a dancer.  I want to be a dancer, but I’m not good at that at all.  So I live vicariously through her fancy-ness.
6. Ali at Our Happily Ever.  She’s such a cutie and she’s having a not so great time right now in the work department.  I hope she uses her three ‘wishes’ to get some justice!
7. Tiffany at Hello Tiffany.  She makes the most amazing little knitted things.  She makes me want to learn to knit or crochet, but I’ve tried, twice now and I am NO GOOD.  *sob*

Have at it ladies!!