the post in which i curse more than i should

Yeah, so remember this post?  The one that grossed all my friends out?  Yeah, that one.

Well, that fucker has friends and one of them made his way into the house today.  That’s the second one in two days!!  Three in three weeks.  Is anyone else seeing a pattern here?  They’re like goddamn serial killers.  Their cooling off period is getting shorter and they’re all going through decompensation.  They’re escalating people!!

He also met the fate of the fly swatter/vacuum death combination.

I think it’s time to call the exterminator.  Mostly because I’m not going up into the attic which I am convinced is a den of mud wasps waiting to attack the first person who pokes their head up into that hellspace.  I’ll save that for the guy who gets paid to do it.

If one of these makes it into the bedroom I will be taking my family and moving into my parents’ house until this house has been bombed to kingdom come.  No joke people!  Yes, I know it’s smaller than me and we’ve been telling Emma the whole ‘he’s more scared of you than you are of him’ bit of bullshit, but fuck that in real life.  No thank you, sir.

And if I find one in Emma’s room.  Oh-ho bad things will happen.  Baaaaad things that will make Eric the vampire look like a sweet little kitty.  Albeit a beautiful kitty, but a kitty nonetheless.

So stay away mud wasps!  Otherwise I will take my Daddy’s advice and stick you in the microwave for 18 seconds.  And that is just not nice.