- Loss. My biggest fear is losing someone I love. I don't even like talking about it.
- Clowns. I HATE clowns. I don't see their purpose. They're freaky and evil. I don't get it and I don't like it. John Wayne Gacy. That's pretty much all I need to say about that.
- Emma growing up. Making decisions that I can't fix. Not being able to protect her from the outside world. Her getting her heart broken. You know, all the usual stuff.
- Extreme Right Wing Religious Politicians. They are the worst thing that has happened to this country and I'm terrified of what they're doing to women's rights, minorities, seniors, the poor...basically everyone who isn't them.
- I'm afraid of not being a good mother. I didn't ever think I wanted to have kids. Then Ray came along and I knew I waned to have a family with him. But I could never shake the feeling that I'm just not built for this. I'm not naturally maternal. So I'm always afraid that I'm going to do something that will stay with her for the rest of her life - and not in a good way.
- Gaining more weight. I know that I'll never be 92 pounds again. It's just not possible. But I'm afraid that I'll just slowly keep gaining weight until one day I'm 300 pounds.
- Driving. I hate driving. It all pretty much stems from a really bad car accident I was in years ago. I was in a teeny tiny car and got hit by a SUV of some sort (all I saw was the grill in my driver side window). The firefighters (4 of them) had to climb into my car from the hatchback to extract me from the car. It was my first ride in an ambulance and everything hurt for days. I couldn't walk for a bit but thankfully, nothing was broken just swollen. Now I'm constantly afraid someone will crash into me.
- A couple of weeks ago at 1 pm in the afternoon a 73 year old man was kidnapped by gunpoint from a shopping center parking lot in my town. They drove him to an ATM then dropped him at his car, followed him home and robbed his house. I'm astounded that it happened in a relatively busy parking lot in the middle of the day. I'm afraid of something like that happening when I'm with Emma. I know that I would have driven to the police station once they dropped me off at my car, but would I? Would I retain any knowledge of what my police officer friends and relatives have given me? The world is a scary place people.
the ramblings of a frazzled mom, clumsy wife, book lover, letter writer, yarncrafter & undercover hippy
Thursday, September 15, 2011
ten day challenge, day three
Today's challenge is to list 8 fears. If you missed the first two days you can read day one here and day two here. Now let's get this show on the road!
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