whaaaaaaaaat???

I realized the other day that being a stay at home mom sometimes blows for little reasons.  Like, not going out to lunch with friends/co-workers to a place that isn't kid friendly.  Or maybe having drinks after work at a bar that definitely isn't kid friendly.  But those really aren't important things and granted, if I wanted to I could go meet some friends for drinks one night and now that Emma is in school I could dart over to meet them for lunch at a non-kid establishment.

This time, being pregnant I realized with the utmost clarity yesterday that I will not get maternity leave. 

Whaaaaat?? 

Every day I have something going on, whether it be appointments or getting Emma to school or a play date.  When I was pregnant with Emma I took one or two (I can't quite remember) weeks off before my due date because they paid me to and it was great.  I sat around the house since everything was ready and waiting for Emma to get here and watched TV.  I mostly watched A Baby Story on TLC until I started really getting freaked out.  That show is better watched AFTER baby arrives.

Well, she was 2.5 weeks late so my pre-birth maternity leave lasted almost a month and it was glorious (though uncomfortable).  My work environment was unpredictable and unhappy so to have that time away from all the drama and angst was wonderful.

I'm at the point in this pregnancy where it is incredibly uncomfortable to do most regular things.  Getting up off the sofa is actually painful and when the baby moves around, though I am always relieved she is moving, it hurts every time.  I would like to spend a day laying in bed on my side because honestly, that's the only time I am comfortable.  Until my arm falls asleep.  Then I roll over to my other side (which takes me about 3 minutes to do).

Though I realize how incredibly lucky I am to be able to stay at home with my kids there are times when I wish I could go back to that first pregnancy when everything was all about me.  How selfish does that sound?!?!  But I mean it more in the sense that I just had to worry about me.  What I was eating, what time I got out of bed, picking up dinner instead of making it ... all that stuff. 

So maybe a day goes like this:

• Get up & check my glucose
• Get Emma up and dressed, teeth brushed
• Fight her to get her to eat some breakfast
• Make her lunch
• Eat my breakfast
• Get on our bikes and head to school
• Come home & check glucose again
• Head out to a doctor's appointment
• Run some miscellaneous errands (library, Target, grocery store, etc.)
• Get some lunch
• Get on my bike and pick up the munchkin
• Check my glucose
• Get her home and either finish the lunch she didn't eat or get her a snack
• Get her working on her homework
• Make dinner

Once dinner is made there's a breather.  Then we eat, I try to clean up the kitchen as I cook so I don't have a mess on my hands.  I check my glucose one more time and space out my pills.  Force myself to eat that last snack of the day and take my last pill and go to sleep.

Granted, not every day is like this.  I only have doctor's appointments twice a week and usually Thursdays (today) I have little going on so I can sit here for hours while Emma's at school and do nothing important.  But still, if someone offered maternity leave I don't think I'd turn them down!