from my broken heart

I said I was going to start posting my old writings here, but that last time I did that was in February in this post here.  I am nothing if not inconsistent.

So here’s a couple of poems.  I’m not sure when they’re written.  I think one was probably one of the last poems I wrote, sometime in 2004.  The others were probably written sometime in the late 90’s.  They’re not award winning or anything, but I like ‘em.

untitled

how does it change

without anyone ever knowing

one day you wake up and realize

the love that burned so bright

has died

there are no harsh words

or acts of infidelity

there is only nothing

yet here I am

holding onto nothing

as tightly as I can

there is a silence

that neither will breach

not one word of comfort

is exchanged by either

we stay here only because

we know nothing else

there is a hope that lives

inside us both

things will go back

to the way it was before

and maybe it will

but no one has built the bridge

that will fill the gap between us

so for the moment we stand

at opposite sides of a river

filled only with regret

with fear that jumping in

will drown what little we have left

how much you don't know

she laughs out loud

knowing you don't understand her

although you think you do

her insanity bubbles through her body

and no one knows how close

to the surface it is

she implores you with her eyes

please help, they cry

but you only see the green of her irises

and you think you find her beautiful

while she calculates

how much weight she may have gained

and how she can scrub the dirt from her fingers

to finally cleanse them

from the evils she has done

she wishes for nothing more

than normalcy

but at the same time in her mind

she giggles at herself

how pathetic can one person be

sometimes she wants to scream

she likes the way the demons

scratch her throat on the way out

but somehow they always find a way

back into her soul

precious years

it seems i spent my whole life

searching for happiness

like it was something i could buy

at a low, low price

or now, with shipping and handling

delivered right to my front door

it seems no matter what i tried

or where i went, it wasn't to be found

and then it came to me

that happiness was these

precious years

these dreams that i have dreamt

the tears that i have cried

and the smiles that i have smiled

and all i had to do was

look inside myself and see

how i shined