I said I was going to start posting my old writings here, but that last time I did that was in February in this post
here. I am nothing if not inconsistent.
So here’s a couple of poems. I’m not sure when they’re written. I think one was probably one of the last poems I wrote, sometime in 2004. The others were probably written sometime in the late 90’s. They’re not award winning or anything, but I like ‘em.
untitled
how does it change
without anyone ever knowing
one day you wake up and realize
the love that burned so bright
has died
there are no harsh words
or acts of infidelity
there is only nothing
yet here I am
holding onto nothing
as tightly as I can
there is a silence
that neither will breach
not one word of comfort
is exchanged by either
we stay here only because
we know nothing else
there is a hope that lives
inside us both
things will go back
to the way it was before
and maybe it will
but no one has built the bridge
that will fill the gap between us
so for the moment we stand
at opposite sides of a river
filled only with regret
with fear that jumping in
will drown what little we have left
how much you don't know
she laughs out loud
knowing you don't understand her
although you think you do
her insanity bubbles through her body
and no one knows how close
to the surface it is
she implores you with her eyes
please help, they cry
but you only see the green of her irises
and you think you find her beautiful
while she calculates
how much weight she may have gained
and how she can scrub the dirt from her fingers
to finally cleanse them
from the evils she has done
she wishes for nothing more
than normalcy
but at the same time in her mind
she giggles at herself
how pathetic can one person be
sometimes she wants to scream
she likes the way the demons
scratch her throat on the way out
but somehow they always find a way
back into her soul
precious years
it seems i spent my whole life
searching for happiness
like it was something i could buy
at a low, low price
or now, with shipping and handling
delivered right to my front door
it seems no matter what i tried
or where i went, it wasn't to be found
and then it came to me
that happiness was these
precious years
these dreams that i have dreamt
the tears that i have cried
and the smiles that i have smiled
and all i had to do was
look inside myself and see
how i shined